If Wishes Were Occamies
by LassieLowrider
Summary: Collection of drabbles and short stories in the style of If Wishes Were Thestrals. To honour Kay. Prompts welcome. All pairings, ratings and characters.
1. HarryFredGeorge

**Be aware! This is the only time I'm going to do this: I do not own Harry Potter, or any other fiction that appears in this collections. They belong to their respective owners.**

**And now, I welcome you to "If Wishes Were Occamies". Prompts are welcome, I accept any and all. Review or message me with your prompt.**

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><p><em>Lucy Saxon wants HarryFred/George and "Fireworks"._

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><p>Fireworks was their area of expertise and it was prominent even in the way they kissed, the way they caressed and the way they made love.<p>

Each time either of them kissed him, even touched him, fireworks exploded behind his eyelids. When they both were with him, kissing him, holding him, loving him, he felt as if someone had lit a fireworks factory on just fire, right behind his eyelids.

It was only fitting then, wasn't it, that they used fireworks to propose?

_Marry us?_

As he sat there, with the twins wrapped around him, fireworks in the air and behind his eyes, Harry Potter couldn't be happier.


	2. DracoHermione

**No warnings.**

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><p><em>Elysse Fray 111 wants DracoHermione and "Unlikely Love"._

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><p>Theirs was probably the most unexpected pairing in Hogwarts history - her a so-called 'mudblood', him a blood purist. They'd hated each other since the very first day, he her for being a "know-it-all", she him for being a "stuck-up inbred".<p>

Now, afterwards, people say that they reminded them of Lily and James. Their friends disagree: Hermione's and Draco's hatred was mutual. It wasn't until sixth year that it began to dissipate. After being, against their will, partnered in potions, they realized that maybe the other wasn't that bad.

However, unlikely as it is, it took their mutual friends, Pansy and Harry, pushing and shoving for them to realize that maybe there was more than friendship… and maybe it could work.

And work it did. Draco almost got disowned, Hermione was, at first, belittled by her own in-laws, but, in the end, it all worked out.


	3. NevilleHarryRon

**Slash, T, Threesome.**

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><p><em>Yami Ryo wants NevilleHarry/Ron and "Illness"._

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><p>Ron woke, uncertain of what had disturbed his deep sleep. He turned in his bed, and caught, out of the corner of his eye, a movement by Harry's bed. Ron usually had his drapes drawn, but not tonight, tonight it'd been all to warm for that, and Ron thanked Merlin that he hadn't. Opening the drapes usually woke Harry up, and anything that allowed Harry more sleep was a godsend.<p>

Ron rose, not caring the he only wore pajama bottoms slung low on his hips, and went over to Harry's bed. His drapes were, as usual, not drawn. He was aware of their habit to, every night, look at him, make sure he was okay. Ron wrapped his arms around his slightly shorter lover's waist and put his chin on his shoulder.

"You okay?" The words were breathed, rather than said, Harry stirred, but did not wake. Neville kept quiet, nodded only, as he kept on watching their third.

"Merlin, Ron. I'm so worried. He gets thinner, paler, more drawn each day. He can hardly eat, is tired no matter how much he sleeps. And his magic just keeps on growing!" Neville's voice was quietly panicked as he broke the silence after a few minutes. "What if they can't stop it? What if the battle de-stabled his core so bad that it won't be stable again? What if they can't save him? What do we do then?" Neville trembled in his arms, and Ron tightened his hold on him.

"Don't say that! They are making progress! He will survive. He must," Ron said, a slightly steely edge to his voice. "He's ours, Neville. Mine and yours. And we protect what's ours, don't we? If nothing else, we'll run. Run so far that the magic can't follow us, so far that they can't find us. If there's no magic, then his core won't grow. Then, he will survive." Neville nodded, seeming to get some much needed strength and hope from that statement.

They stood there awhile longer, getting comfort and strength from each other.


	4. LilyEvansTheMaraduers

**No warnings, really.**

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><p><em>ToyMannequinSarcastic Chocolate Bar wants Lily Evans/Marauders and "The Truth Behind the Furry Little Problem"._

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><p>Lily Evans, seventh year Gryffindor, current Head Girl of Hogwarts, friend of the Marauders and girlfriend of current Head Boy, James Potter, was shocked speechless at what aforementioned group of troublemakers just told her.<p>

Well, not so much at what they told her, as at the fact that they actually told her. She had had some niggling doubts since third year, been reasonably sure since fourth, and unshakeable in her belief since fifth.

The fact that Remus Lupin, Moony, was a werewolf was rather obvious, if you know what to look for. The absence, three days a month, the scars, the pre-mature aging… all signs. She didn't think many else knew… Sev- no, _Snape_ - probably knew, the disgust mingled with fear hinted at it… the Marauders was a given, otherwise he wouldn't have that ridiculous nickname… Nor the ridiculous codename. Seriously? "Furry Little Problem"? It sounds like a badly behaved rabbit.

But why would they tell her? Not that it mattered, but still…

"Uhm… Lils? Are you okay?" James asked, looking worried. His girlfriend of half a year and obsession for six was just staring blankly at them.

"I think we broke her." Sirius Black, resident unserious white sheep, reached out to poke her, but startled when she did a full-body shake.

"Well, this is a surprise," she mused. "Not that Remus is a werewolf, I've known that for a long time… No, the surprise is that you told me… Why?"

The Marauders collapsed in relieved laughter, only growing stronger when they saw her growing agitation at not getting any answers.


	5. HarryViktor

**Slash.**

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><p><em>Yami Ryo wants ViktorHarry and "blind"._

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><p>During the tournament, that farce where he was forced to compete against his will, Viktor had noticed something… off with him. He did not know what, and he didn't pry… partly because he knew what it was like to be famous, to have not privacy, partly because he had no time, no opportunities, as he tried to stay alive.<p>

During the wedding, the one where he saw the _izmennik, _the Grindelwald _posledovatel, _he had not seen him, but somehow sensed him there… a buzz of a kind, a feeling that he'd noticed three years earlier. It was the feeling of internal magic being released.

Now, after the war, after he had died, done his duty, Viktor could still feel the buzz. Now, it was near constant, even when he was behind his own wards… that meant he was close. Maybe it was just imagination, but he could practically smell him. He was sitting in a café, when he received confirmation.

"You were right, you know. You could, practically, smell me. Your magic could, at least." He was not tall, not short, muscled but not bodybuilding… His eyes, if one were to be corny, where green like the most flawless emerald - too green, too deep, too glowing. He had skipped the glasses, not worn them since he graduated. "Well, your magic could smell mine, to be precise," he amended, as he sat down.

Viktor leaned back in his chair, studying the young man in front of him. Harry Potter, the 'missing' wonder of magic. He could feel the buzz, somehow muted in his presence.

"Vhy? Vhy can I feel you? Vhy do my magic, allegedly, 'smell' yours?" He kept on staring into green eyes, inhuman in their color. He shrugged, the movement of his shoulders disturbing also his hair, long enough to reach his shoulder blades.

"I'm blind," he said, as if it wasn't something big, as if it was one of those mundane revelations, like 'I prefer honey in my tea' or 'Really, blue is much better with white'… as if it wasn't something a man like Viktor, someone who relied on his eyes, couldn't imagine, couldn't survive. "I use my internal magic, the one kids use for accidental magic, the one that heals you quicker, as a guide. As a sonar, really, and as heat goggles, if you know what that is." Viktor nodded - he didn't know what it was, but he could imagine.

Viktor rose, reached out his hand and waited with bated breath. Harry took it, allowed someone to help him for the first time since, well, ever really. Viktor pulled him up and forward, into his arms. Harry, not really surprised but not really prepared, either, put his hand on his chest. He moved them, curling one around Viktor's nape, wrapping one in his hair as he kissed him, long, slow and sweetly.

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><p><strong>Well, I'll be damned. These do seem to be getting longer.<strong>


	6. HarryLee

_Jenny Gal wants Harry/Lee Jordan and "Family Expectations"._

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><p>As the third of four sons, Lee didn't really have that high expectations placed on him - get an education, get married, have kids and then die, basically. Maybe a bit more drawn out, but that's all he needed to do.<p>

Harry, on the other hand, had no expectations at all placed on him from his family, other than "die and never return, freak!". Or, well, at least that was what his blood family told him. His adopted family, family by choice rather than blood, did have some expectations. Nothing major, really: Graduate Hogwarts, become an Auror, marry Ginny and have lots of little Potters. The entire Wizarding World had one expectation, placed on Harry's shoulders when he was all too young: free us from blood purists, and then: Kill Voldemort.

Harry did it, of course. He killed Voldemort, and freed the Wizarding World from the blood purists.

Harry and Lee had one very important thing in common: they both failed their families expectations in two ways: they didn't marry a nice witch/Ginny, nor did they have kids/lots of little Potters.

They did, however, marry. Each other. The Dursley's reaction was quite predictable, even for someone with Harry's skills at divination: "As if you weren't freaky enough, freak!".

The Weasley's was disappointed, in some cases hurt, and in one case relieved: "Oh, thank god! I didn't really want to marry you, y'know. I want to marry Dean. I love him, I truly do."


	7. Crouch JrVoldemort

_Paenerane wants Crouch Jr/Voldemort and "bad disguises"._

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><p>"Are you sure this will work, Barty?" Voldemort looked suspiciously at his follower, who at the moment had a wig and, well, a dress on.<p>

"Of course, milord! No one will suspect anything! You'll get close to the muggle house with no trouble at all!" Barty nodded earnestly, righting his Lords wig while doing so.

"But… aren't these… people dead?" Voldemort bent slightly to look in the mirror, again displacing the wig. Barty wildly shook his head, and displaced his own wig.

"No, no! That is nothing but rumors!" Barty bent to look in the mirror himself. Voldemort touched his brand-new nose uncertainly, ignoring his followers mutterings about 'dratted skirts and bras and skirts and wigs!'.

"Well, if you're sure…" Voldemort shrugged, turned and swore over the wide trousers he was wearing.

Elvis and Marilyn Monroe walked out of the secret hideout.


	8. NevilleDraco

_Yami Ryo wants Neville/Draco and "Unexpected"_

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><p>"I'm pregnant." The silence was complete, silent and dumbfounded.<p>

"What?" He'd dropped his paper fifteen seconds ago - previous, shocking, statement came twenty seconds ago.

"I said, I'm pregnant!" Incredulous, annoyed, agitated. All fitting.

"What?" Stare. He hadn't blinked for five minutes, now.

"It's not like it's very unusual. We've been married for two years now." And what a surprise that had been… a surprise wedding, where the groom's friends hated the other groom's friends.

"But… what? Pregnant? B-b-babies?" It'd been years since he stuttered. That he did it now, only showed how far gone he was.

"Well, hopefully only one to start with. Though, I agree with you. It IS kind of unexpected… Oh dear, what will mother say? And Augusta? Well, we'll placate Augusta easily… we'll just name him Frank!" He nodded, already planning out the baby's life.

"We're not sure it's a boy, yet, dear. Though, Frank does sound nice…" Neville nodded and went back to his paper, letting his beloved spouse continue planning their unborn babies life.

THUD. Draco looked up from where he'd been bent over some hastily thrown together plans for a nursery. He was at first unsure of where from the 'thud' originated, but then he saw.

"Ah. It finally registered, then, love?" He asked his unconscious husband.

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><p><strong>Well, Yami. You always complain that Neville is the sub. <strong>


	9. HarryRon

_SomebodyToLove wants Harry/Ron and "Hufflepuff"._

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><p>When Harry Potter was sorted into Hufflepuff, followed by Ronald Weasley, the first Potter and the first Weasley in three centuries to be sorted there, there was a general uproar. However, more well known in the muggle world than the Wizarding world, an abuse victim is often very loyal to the first one to show him any kind of kindness - or treat him like a normal human being. Just the same, if the second youngest of seven in a poor family gets a friend that's just his, and that no one else in his family have ever met, something, some<em>one <em>that is his and only his, he will do whatever he can to keep that one thing, one person.

This small, really rather insignificant change, makes for a very different time at Hogwarts.

Endlessly loyal, having only the other in a house full of 'loyal' busybodies, made them trust each other, and only each other. They were possessive, quiet and never lonely, for the other was no more than a few feet away.

They knew each other, inside and out, knew and recognized every little quirk, spent enough time together they had the same quirks… isn't it only logical that they take the next step, also? Maybe, at first, it wasn't really _love_, but loyalty, trust and fear. Loyalty to each other, trust in the other, and fear of letting someone else in to their secrets, their duo, _them_.

And so, being sorted into Hufflepuff was the best thing that ever happened, to both Harry J. Potter and Ronald B. Weasley-Potter.


	10. JamesSrMiniHarry

_TomAndJerrySaidSo wants James Sr + Mini!Harry, and "Unconditional Love"._

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><p>He knew, knew oh so well, that he wasn't his. It was obvious, really. She'd done a rather shabby job of disguising him, and an even shabbier job of researching Potter Family History.<p>

His eyes were green. That was her biggest mistake. No Potter male had green eyes. No Potter period had green eyes. Something in the genes, in the Family magic, made it impossible. All Potters had, since the beginning of records, had _hazel _eyes.

The curse of the Potters, it was called. Almost carbon copies of their fathers, and their fathers before them. They always take after their father. That was her biggest mistake: she made his eyes like hers.

She'd done good research, but not good enough. Potters always have one prominent trait, inherited from their mother. But not the eyes, never the eyes.

He did not know who the father was - maybe she didn't either.

But one thing he did know.

James Potter would always love Harry Potter unconditionally, no matter his heritage.

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><p><strong>As shown in this chapter: if you want two characters to star in your drabble, but not be paired, write it like <strong>_character + character_**. Good? Good.**


	11. JamesSrHarry

_WinterRoses wants James Sr/Harry and "Rebound"._

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><p>When Harry had, in a freak accident while testing a new ritual invented by someone we shall not name (*coughHermionecough*), somehow been both de-aged <em>and <em>traveled through time, he'd been, to say the least, fairly confused. When he'd later realized that he was in, well, in another dimension/universe/something-or-another, he'd been completely flummoxed. He was, once again, fourteen, and he shared a dorm with his teenaged 'father' and his friends.

When he realized, halfway through fifth year, that he'd fallen in love with James (not his father, never his father)… well, suffice to say, when Harry didn't want to be found, even map-aided Marauders or Dumbledore couldn't find him.

Somehow, someway, someone had found out. Not that he was in love with James, thank Merlin, but that he was gay, a fag… Soon, the entire Gryffindor tower knew. For some reason, no one but the immature first and second year boys cared. Well, the girls in his year tried to make him their fashion guru, but soon realized that he was a hopeless case.

From Easter break, 1976, to Yule holidays 1976, he watched, observed, as James crush on a certain Evans, and he also saw her growing attraction to one of the 5th/6th year boys… sadly, it wasn't James.

Another sign of this not being his world… Back home (the word was misgiving, this world, this Hogwarts, was much more home than back there ever was…) James hadn't found Lily Evans in bed with his best friend… in his world, Sirius Black had not proposed to Lily Evans.

And in his original world, James Potter had not cornered another, male, student in an out-of-the-way hallway… and kissed him passionately, stealing his breath, and his heart.

And in his original world, the male student, Harrison Darcy, hadn't rejected his advances with the words "I love you, James, I really do. But not like this. Not enough to be your rebound, and then see you chase after another piece of easy skirt. I'm sorry, but I can't."

And then he fled.


	12. DumbledoreGrindelwald

_Iwentthere wants Dumbledore/Grindelwald and "Last meeting"._

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><p>As soon as the old man reached the tall, wrought iron gates, he could hear the clanking of chains. Not even half, nay, not even a tenth of them were real. No, in Nurmengard there resided but one living soul - the restless, however, were endless, uncountable.<p>

In the topmost cell, in the northernmost tower, behind these gates inscribed with the prisoners motto, laid an emaciated skeletal man. Showing signs of beauty long gone, his appearance, stripy hair to gnarled limbs to lost teeth, the man was a, behind the grime of half a century, recognizable man. He was chained to the wall, able to reach only what he needed for survival, and when he heard the gates start to open, protesting the movement, shrieking for every centimeter they had to give, he began to rattle them. He knew it would not bother the visitor - it never did, but he had to try.

The visitor, wear uncharacteristically somber robes of a deep golden brown, waited patiently at every door, allowing the old but strong wards to register that he was here, he who was their maker, he who allowed them to feed.

As he reached the cell, the prisoner raised his head and, through sunken eyes, drank in the man on the other side of the bars. He was the first free human to grace these halls in ten years - the only free human to grace these halls since '45.

Neither said anything - they never did. There was no need, they'd said all that needed to be said in '45, back when one of them had ruined the greatest thing to happen to him beyond repair, back when one of them could hide no longer.

The free man nodded and turned on his heel, but froze when he reached the door, froze when the other mans voice reached his ears.

"It wasn't you, Albus. You didn't throw anything bad enough to cause her death. Hers is the only death I'm truly regretting."

Neither man said anything more, both aware that this was the last time they'd ever see each other alive.

However, one of them, a tall man with long beard and hair, both the color of silver, slept just a little bit easier for the rest of his life.


	13. SherlockBBCFemHarry

**First crossover, whoop! This is also a shout-out to Toy/SCB. Stop bugging me, woman!**

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><p><em>Pink roses under the bed wants Sherlock(BBC)fem!Harry and "mismatched"._

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><p>The first time John met her, she was half naked. And calmly moving the human head in the fridge around, while talking to Yorrick. John had turned straight around, going back to bed, because, really, he did not need to know that Sherlock had found someone as crazy (and probably genius, too) as him.<p>

When Mycroft Holmes met his little brother's companion the first time, she pushed him into a river, after telling him she would do exactly that. In Swahili, of all things.

When Mummy Holmes met Camellia Potter the first time, she was instantly charmed. Why, she could converse! No speak, not talk, but _converse_. That she was on first name basis with the Queen, had tamed Sherlock and didn't let anyone talk down to him just helped.

When DI Greg Lestrade met her the first time, the girl with the name meaning _'perfection' _and _'gratitude'_, he agreed with her name. She was perfect for Sherlock, smart enough to not bother him with questions, calm enough to keep him almost levelheaded and protective enough to go toe-to-toe with a police officer to defend him. He also felt a deep gratitude, for with her help, the great man that was Sherlock Holmes, might become a good man, too.

When Sally Donovan met her the first time, she tried to warn her away from 'the freaks'. Sally Donovan never again so much as though the word 'freak' in Camellia's presence. She still had some faint scars left after being knocked straight through a shop window.

When Molly met Camellia the first time, and second, and third… all she could think of was that they were mismatched, but still matched, somehow. They seemed to be each other's complete opposite, and yet they worked together like she'd only seen Sherlock and John work together.

Yes, they were surely a mismatched couple. But they completed each. And therefore, no one said anything.


	14. JamesSrHarry II

_TheVoicesDoesn'tLikeYou wants James Sr/Harry and "Rebound continued"._

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><p>James had, when he found Lily in bed with <em>Padfoot<em>, his best friend, acted a bit rashly, he would admit it. And he would also admit that he understood why Harry had said no when he kissed him (_basically molested him_, his conscience pointed out). He probably would have too, especially if it was someone he loved.

No, James understood exactly, because that was what he was supposed to be. The Rebound Guy. James was going to go out with him, not openly of course, fuck him a few times and then dump him, after feeling a bit better about himself.

But then James kissed Harry. And Harry kissed back. Now, James had had his fair share of kisses, many deeper than the one he'd shared with the other boy, and his fair share of more, less innocent, encounters also…

But none had done what this kiss did. This kiss had made lightning flash, stolen his breath, made his mind foggy and made his heart race. This kiss, this kiss seemed to touch his heart.

At this moment, anyone would have been able to walk up to James Potter, slug him in the nose and ask him about his crush on Lily Evans, and all he would have had to say would have been "Lily Evans? Who cares about her?".

James Potter was in love. With another boy. With Harrison Darcy. With someone he knew reciprocated. He was also walking on small pink clouds, but that had nothing with his newfound love to do, but rather the spell Frank Longbottom had sent at him when he rushed through the common room.


	15. SiriusLily

_BrokenMemories wants Sirius/Lily and "Hangover"._

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><p>She woke up, did a full body stretch… or so she thought she would, at least. The marching band practicing in her head stopped her from doing much but groan. Her groan was answered from the other side of the bed. She reached out and trailed her hand down the chest of the other person.<p>

"Mmm, James…" she sighed. And so did he. Wait a minute… so did he? Lily practically jumped out of the bed, dragging the covers with her at the same time, incidentally leaving the other person with no coverage.

"What the hell? Sirius! What are you doing in my bed?" She screeched at him, which, admittedly, did not help her headache… nor his. He sat up, not caring about the fact that he was practically naked. As he tiredly dragged his hand over his eyes, she noticed something on his hand that glinted in the growing light. A niggling suspicion started to grow in her stomach. The quick glance at her hand showed that it was probably true… an even quicker glance out the window proved it beyond all doubt.

"Married…" she whispered weakly, sinking down to sit on the very edge of the bed.

"What was that, Lils?" Sirius, her HUSBAND, asked.

"We're married… what possessed us to go to Vegas and get married, Sirius? I don't remember, well, much of anything, really…"

"Neither do I…" Sirius frowned.


	16. RemusHarry

**Very AU from OoTP and onward. Sirius didn't die, but was cleared. AD is alive. Harry's magic is almost its own entity, and Harry is positively affected by this.**

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><p><em>HP Slash Luv wants RemusHarry and "Possessive!Harry"._

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><p>The year was 1998, and Harry J. Potter was <em>this close <em>to snapping. Nymphadora Tonks and Hestia Jones were the unknowing subjects of his glare - luckily he had enough control of his magic to not cause spontaneous combustion- and anger. They were, at the moment, debating the "Date-worthy" Remus Lupin.

Harry did _not _take kindly to this, for soon to be very obvious reasons. To you, at least. Remus was _his_. Had been his for two years, and no _witch _would, or could, steal him. Remus was at the moment away for a meeting with the main European Were-pack, and had been gone for almost two weeks, and Harry was missing him like crazy.

What Harry didn't know, nor did anyone else located in the kitchen, was that Sirius had been 'mirror-talking' to Remus for the last few days, and had told him to hurry, before Harry decided to kill every un-wed female in the Order. Which would have been, well, _bad_.

Remus entered, and was greeted by the _witches _and two sultry smiles - apparently, they'd decided to see who'd get the guy first. He ignored this, however, as his mate's head snapped around quick enough to almost give him a whiplash.

"Remus?" Harry questioned, a smile almost breaking his face in two before the positive answer. Not caring about what the reactions would be, Harry stood up and practically _stalked _to Remus, pulling the shorter man into him for a, even for the on-lookers, scorching hot kiss. He smirked into the kiss as he heard two twin thuds behind him.

'_That'll show them not to mess with what's mine.'_


	17. JamesSrHarry III

**Sorry for the wait, friend of mine got hospitalized (carcrash). On top of that, my internet was all kinds of fucked.**

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><p><em>LoverOfRobynSoWhat wants James SrHarry and "Rebound ended"._

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><p>There was a wedding being held at Hogwarts, the Headmaster himself officiating. The groom was more handsome than usual, the bride positively radiant. And still, even with almost every eye at them, they somehow managed to <em>not <em>be the main event.

No, the main event was the Best Man and the 'Maid' of Honor. The joy they both felt was almost tangible.

Nobody had thought that this is what would happen when one of the Marauder's found his pseudo-brother in bed with the girl, but now… Now, the Marauders were closer than ever, all of them happy and three of them in love, with one married and another halfway there.

James and Harrison Potter, standing up with their best friends at their wedding, were the happiest they'd ever been. They'd overcome a lot of hurdles, the 'Rebound Affair' the first of many. Now, they were married, and Harry thanked Merlin, Hermione and his infamous luck every day he woke up in his husbands embrace.

Sirius Black was also happier than ever - not ignoring the love he felt for the girl was the best decision he'd ever made. Lily soon-to-be Black was, as she said 'I do' and watched the bond form, reflecting on her decision to let the arrogant man prove himself, and prove himself he did.


End file.
